I believe there is a close connection to language and loyalty. By this, I mean that sometimes people talk a good talk: they are saying one thing but they are thinking another. For some reason, we can sense this misalignment of thoughts and words. Why? Because how we think often determines how we feel, and feelings, as you know, can be transferred onto others.

When you interact with another human being, they can sense your feelings just as you can sense theirs. No words are required. We are ridiculously clever beings and have beautiful operating systems—our minds. Our minds sometimes run off on their own little tangent and before we know it, we are trapped in a web of thinking one thing yet saying something else. It’s ok … we all do it.

Examples would be:

You say, ‘I hope you have a great day’ but you are thinking, I am so hungry and cannot wait to have a break.

You say, ‘Hi there, welcome back, and great to see you again’ but you are thinking, Oh, you’re that lady who gave me grief last time you were here. To be honest, I’m not really sure I am happy to see you.

You can see why sometimes people’s words are not always congruent with what they are thinking.

On my recent journey called ‘life’, I have become extremely aware of how powerful my thoughts can be. I know that when I think something, it has an energy surrounding it that comes through in my words, gestures, behaviours and life. It is for this reason that we hear the expression, change your thoughts, change your life.

When I see this habit in action, I encourage people to imagine their thoughts are totally transparent. Imagine if everyone from your boss to your colleagues to your customers, and to your family, friends and strangers could see your thoughts. Would you continue that train of thought? Would you allow that thought to be seen?

If this were true, I wonder what would be the impact over time.

  • Would you train yourself to think more useful, helpful thoughts?
  • Would you learn to have braver conversations with people because they knew what you really thought about them or the situation?
  • Would you stop thinking so much and allow space in your mind for experiencing what is in front of you?

Be loyal and mean what you say.

Jaquie Scammell

‘Love Being in Service’

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